Sunday, November 23, 2008

Nostalgia and porn


(Caution: I use the word "dick" in this... a lot)

On a weekend getaway in my hometown, my very best friend Hilary and I reminisced about experiences we had in Highschool and College. There were the cute tales of who dated whom, or who had a crush on what, etc. But my favorite of all of my encounters over the years was an adventure a college friend and I had last year.

I went over to my friend's apartment to spend the afternoon. No homework, nothing to study for. I wanted to just chill out. His roommate was a bit of a weird-o, but I considered him a good friend as well. Good enough that I could have fun with him. His roommate was very funny about his things; one of those people who would freak out if anything was out of place. So, out of jest, I decided to change the background on his computer.

It was then that the fun started.

I went into his My Pictures folder. There, I found four sub folders: Me, Girls, Washington, My birthday. I went with My Birthday--nothing good. I overlooked Washington--boring. Girls--well, duh. It was porn. But it was the Me folder that ruined my life. When I opened the folder, the computer exploded with images of dicks. Big dicks, long dicks, black dicks, white dicks. I screamed my friends name. He came running over and we both, then, sat huddled in a corner on the floor. Where did they come from? Who's were they? WHY WERE THEY THERE? And then to add to the shock, at the bottom of the page of genitalia, was the lone picture of a redneck holding a prize trout (no dick included). To make matters worse, in my shock I had accidentally clicked on a picture of one, making it the background to his computer.

Once I peeled myself from the floor to change the picture back to the original background, of course, I couldn't find it. I found the most similar one I could. Yet, his roommate came home and asked me if I had been tampering with his things. I said no. I mean, how could I tell him. "Oh yeah, I tried to change it back but there were too many dicks in my way."

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